i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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