I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
