dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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