Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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