new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize