You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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