You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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