i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This is the high leading the old right now
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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