the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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