I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
