She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Let's get the cat blown out
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
