He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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