I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
