Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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