i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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