I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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