bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize