Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's blow job season.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
