I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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