I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
