I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
