she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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