If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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