Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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