Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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