Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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