I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
