my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
