I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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