MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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