Fine. I'll sleep in my office
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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