told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
