I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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