You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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