If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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