I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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