porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
