The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
