i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
