worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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