Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
