I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
