i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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