so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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