FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
