so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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