you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
