i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize