I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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