And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
