Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
