I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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