I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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