I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
