I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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