I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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