I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
