Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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