There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
