Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
