I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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