You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
